Many startup entrepreneurs are encouraged by their investors, lawyers, partners, and customers to imagine their exit.
In some cases, this is for legal reasons; in other cases, it is a critical data point for those who want to understand your plans around an eventual liquidity event and what that looks like. The question may be posed to you by your family, so they know how long this chapter of sacrifice will dominate your life story. As well as their own.
Perhaps your goal, however, is to build a strong, sustainable business. One that counters the market by employing a breakthrough strategy and thinking more holistically about the ecosystem in which you will compete. Perhaps your goal is not to chase the masses and dubiously impressive user and customer acquisition statistics. Even more so, you plan to do this by charging a substantially premium price to the market, eschewing advertising, and, moreover, not only rejecting millions of potentially high-value clients, but in doing so, offering an opaque narrative as to why you are rejecting them as clients and their monthly fees that would accompany them.
If that is you, then you just have to look at Raya. The app is in its tenth year, and while still shrouded in mystery and some jealousy, it is thriving in a category: dating apps beset by burnt-out swipers who are turning off their subscriptions.
Raya, known as the celebrity dating app, on the other hand, has a waiting list of nearly 2.5 million people who have put their best selves forward, hoping that the company will let them in the secret door into a secret club.

Photos:TikTok
You don’t have to search very far to find lovers and haters of Raya. The same can be said of any business, and when said business decides to operate in a different tier than the middle, it attracts even more lovers and haters. That won’t stop me from looking at what makes them so successful, their key drivers, and their secret sauce in building their community, which perhaps I will appropriate for a future project or venture.
The first is obvious, apparent, and very hard to do. That is to create exclusivity. The question you are probably pondering is what comes first? The wait list or the demand caused by knowing there is a wait list? Is this a bar with a lineup for nothing but show, and when you arrive inside, is it barren and bleak? However, if you can create a mystique that more customers want in than you will allow, you have succeeded with step one!
The second driver is to sell aspiration, not a service. This is achieved through storytelling, which is most successful when they are told by your customers. Michael B. Jordan going on a talk show after a romantic breakup and saying he was headed to Raya (which actually did happen) is gold. Olympian Simon Biles is meeting her future husband, NFLer Jonathan Owens, on the platform, and is double gold. Paulina Porizkova returning to the app after ditching it for years and finding her new husband fills the entire podium. These stories script themselves. They create aspiration because who doesn’t want to live at this level of fame and good fortune?
Finally, the third diamond in this jewel is taking care of your customers. Raya does this by creating a community of like-minded folks. Their team takes incredible lengths of time to vet new members. The fifteen-member screening unit utilizes referrals, recommendations, social media audits, geography, and professions, all of which are considered to ensure they are bringing people into the community who will enhance it. Existing members feel that effort and are willing to shell out $25-$50 per month to shine alongside other members.
Raya’s future expansion plans are much horizontal, not vertical. By that, I mean they are pursuing adjacent businesses such as Places, their curated travel platform that they have launched (which requires no “audition”, just a monthly fee), and Work, a setting in the dating app that allows members to indicate their interest in meeting professional collaborators.
When new entrepreneurs seek their founding partners, they are often advised to date before they marry. That expression carries over when they start seeing investors, and if they are a B2B company, these words resurface frequently to describe the business development process.
For traditional dating apps, I can’t believe I called dating apps “traditional”; getting on their site is less of a relationship builder and more transactional. Raya’s growth to a profitable 115-person enterprise in a decade is clearly the success of relationship-building efforts. As you build your venture, the question becomes whether you are in it for the long haul or the quickie build and IPO?