Ever been the only person in the room who didn’t know one single other? It’s okay if you’re at the doctor’s office. But has this happened to you at a baby shower or dinner party? Worse, what about at a conference?
Personally it’s never been a situation that has bothered me. But for many the thought of walking into a room full of strangers is terrifying.
I’m assuming by now you’re registered, booked, and packed for the 2016 Canadian Sponsorship Forum Experience. Perhaps your excitement is being partially eroded by the FOBA. I just made this up, but I’m creating a phobia called Fear of Being Awkward. FOBA occurs when you’re standing in a reception, looking around at dozens of gleeful conversations happening and not one involving you. You feel like everyone else can see how alone you are, so no one is going to approach because they suspect whatever general ailment you have, it must be contagious.
So now you’re drowning in FOBA. You want to bury your face in your phone, but realize that will slaughter any hope you have of being approached. You’re slowly nursing your coffee, but the crummy little hotel-issued cup makes that impossible. You’re slowly performing a finger autopsy on your muffin, but realize there is a good chance a cranberry is now visibly stuck in your upper front teeth.
Suddenly an important looking group heads your way, only to then ask if you could take their photo as they have already selfied themselves beyond acceptable societal limits. Immediately after you finished the portraits while balancing all three of their cameras and your muffin and your coffee and your own phone, they have disappeared without so much as a handshake or an introduction.
Networking. Ugh. A four-letter word to many people.
But it doesn’t have to be. Networking is a skill to be learned, practiced, refined, and honed. Like public speakers, the best networkers are not born naturals, despite popular belief. Practicing networking will just add to your confidence.
When I network I tend to intuitively follow a few specific guidelines. One of the most important is to not show up at the event with the look of a mass murderer, also known as the about to miss their target salesperson. Nothing turns people off more than being pitched hard before the handshake is cold. Don’t believe me? Try it. I will bring the video camera.
Networking shouldn’t be about trying to find the big whale. Networking should be about sending out a vibe about who you are as a person. Be natural. Someone that people enjoy being around. The laws of attraction will result in the big fish coming to you and not vice versa.
Another key to networking is to act fast. What I mean is this. In almost any networking event you are bound to be in line or seated next to someone. At first glance, introduce yourself. Before you sit down or grab a spoonful of cherry tomatoes for your salad. Don’t wait and appear to be revving up your nerve. Go for it.
Get in quickly. Then get out just as quickly. If the other person wants to engage, they will keep the conversation going. If they don’t, you’ve saved yourself a ton of dignity because you don’t separate feeling like a loser. It’s easy to get in if you’ve done your homework.
Your homework should be done well before the conference. It starts with a short list of intriguing, but innocuous opening lines. Leading with “that opening keynote sucked” may be one to stay away from. As the opening keynote speaker, you can understand the bias in my advice. But you do need to have better game than “Have you been to the Forum before?” I suggest you laterally write up some opening lines and how you anticipate them to reply.
Be positive. Be upbeat. Be interesting. Don’t be trying to sell, recruit, or dare I say recruit for other reasons. One great way to be interesting is to know something the other person doesn’t that you can share causally and utilize to build a dialogue. For example, if you have seen one of the speakers previously. Or perhaps you watched them online before the conference. Drafting on the intrigue of someone else or something else provides a nice halo for your brand. Translation? I’m telling everyone my real name is Mitch Joel at CSFX. Check out our head shots to see this isn’t going to be that hard for me to pull off. I hope.
Now that you have a conversation started, get your foot off the gas and mind your GPS. Where can you take this conversation at a pace. Don’t rush through it because they aren’t the VP of Marketing for BIGCO! Savour the moment. Some of my peers have a natural (or conditioned) ability to make whomever they are speaking to feel like the most important human in the world at that moment. Other people will never know the colour of your eyes, because the minute they meet you it feels like they are looking past you for a better contact to slay.
Once you give one enjoyable and deep first exchange with someone, the next few will be even easier. It then becomes a multiplier effect because everywhere you turn for the rest of the event, you now have new friends you can lean on when the networking hits a roadblock.
Perhaps you are still too shy, despite reading this. You’re feeling you need a wingman. So go get one? Invite a colleague or supplier to the event. Jump on social media ahead of time and let other delegates know you are new and you would love to meet up Wednesday night for a drink or Thursday at breakfast to make new friends. I’m getting hammered on my SXSW social feeds by sales people wanting to meet me in Austin to pitch T1. Never. But if someone said hey I’m also from Toronto and headed to SXSW alone and would love to meet others from the 6, I would be my regular cruise director self.
If all else fails, I can let you know this. We build so much networking into CSFX, I don’t think you’ll be alone. But if you think you will be, let me know and one of my T1 colleagues will gladly introduce you to three delegates. From there you will have an awesome start and the perfect prescription to combat FOBA.