MH3 Business, Marketing, Opinion

Oh Canada, We Love Our BeaverTails

Sorry Classified, but the lyrics to your song made the perfect foundation for my title this week.

Our mascot may be a “damn Beaver”, but the BeaverTail delicacy is taking a strong run at overtaking the animal. I know this from two days of highly scientific research conducted earlier this month…at my ski club.

On Saturday of Family Day weekend, in rolled the BeaverTail wagon and you would have thought Santa Claus had arrived. Dozens of cries of “BeaverTails!” echoed throughout the hills. Kids began a delicate, yet complex, negotiation with their parents to a. receive the necessary permission to upgrade the octane level of their midday snack by several thousand kilocalories; and b. to secure the necessary second-mortgage type financing they would need to complete the transaction.

I hadn’t really understood the fascination and fanaticism the BeaverTail brand elicits. I had heard of the Obama Tail served to President Barry during his first visit to Ottawa in his premier term a few years ago. I had seen the huts when we went to Quebec. A friend had shared a far-fetched tale that Bryan Adams once declared that his skill in differentiating a Beaver Tail from a Timbit was supernatural, or All-Canadian, or something. (I am taking liberties here with the actual telling of Adams’ story!)

But how could something so enthralling be created in wee wee wee little Killaloe, Ontario? I have friends who live there and they have never mentioned the furless deep-fried fountain of taste bud ecstasy. Perhaps like me, they hadn’t experienced the love I witnessed this past weekend.

The obsession with the Tail defied all experiential marketing logic. The truck was noisy. The line was long – at one point kids were waiting 40-60 minutes! The price? Good on them for charging mega bucks for fried dough. There was no pre-promotion, no Facebook app, no post event press release.

But if the BeaverTail two day sale where I ski is any indication – they know their consumer, their consumer loves them, and I am one very impressed, and disciplined observer. Disciplined?

Yes, I was practically a Biggest Loser Hall of Fame level participant in my resisting the urge to succumb to the Eve-like temptation of a Skor flavoured BT. You are probably underestimating the level of self control this took. Summon your inner Willy Wonka and visualize a fantasia of chocolate covered faces surrounding you. Soon to be decaying teeth blazing in choreographed smiles. Majestically chocolate ‘stached upper lips on pre-pubescent faces. Chins dripping in sprinkles, sugar, and M&M bits not quite captured by their alligator jaws.

Admit it. I’ve done it. I’ve overwhelmed your senses. You want some damn BeaverTail!

MH3 Events, Football, Opinion, Sports, Travel

Bye Week

This is the second worst weekend of the year for me. No football.

Grey Cup, Vanier Cup, Metro Bowl, Rose Bowl, Go Tell Your Daddy on Me Bowl are all a distant memory. In the name of Peyton Manning, don’t even try to tell me to watch the Pro Bowl. Peyton may want his fellow stars to play harder, but there is no worse all-star game than the Pro Bowl. Heck how can it even be a true all-star game when two teams can’t send their players?!

I am left floundering as to what to do this weekend. Maybe I will join all of you hopelessly hypocritical hockey fans and jump right back on the noisy bandwagon racing down the ice. You know who you are. I heard you telling me you weren’t going to buy NHL tickets, watch games, or join a fantasy pool. You’re the same cats who are emailing me for my Leaf tickets and screaming in my ear at the local wing joint last night because the Leafs are now 2-1.

I could shovel my driveway for the first time all winter, but despite this deep freeze called Friday we are in, it only has an inch of snow on it and heck it’s going to be +5 next Tuesday, so what’s the point.

Actually, the easiest option would be to join the 24/7, or 7/24 if you prefer, hype on-air and on-line about the Har-Bowl. Hype or not you have to revel in the fact that two brothers are facing each other in the Super Bowl! Less than 80 men have been Super Bowl coaches and the Harbaugh parents have now produced two of them. What’s next? Will Doug Ford run for mayor versus Rob Ford? Should Maya Soetoro-Ng have run against Obama in the last US Presidential election instead of Romney? Will Jazmyn and Jaxon Bieber gang up on JB1 and form their own modern day Donna and Marie revue?

Holy gumbo I know what I will do. Pack. Yes sports fans I am off to NOLA. Oh that’s not very nice of me to just let this slide out… in the most public of domains. But yes I am giggling with delight that MH3 is going to SBIII. No I don’t have the numbers wrong, this is MY SBIII.

As a Steeler man, you know I will be cheering against the Ravens. Somewhat sad the 49’ers will tie us for most rings, but that’s still better than watching Flacco win.

So stay tuned Rajun Cajuns. I will be tweeting with a Creole accent next weekend!

Bye!

MH3 Life Lessons, Living Life, Opinion

Resolute

According to Wikipedia, the origin of New Year’s resolutions ranges from the Babylonians promising to return borrowed objects and pay down debts to the Romans making promises to their god Janus, the namesake of the month of January.

While there are many online sources that can tell us from where the tradition sprang, there are even more voices that offer unsolicited advice on why people don’t succeed in completing their vows. Reading those essays made me realize that this year I need to do a little better job of thinking through my resolutions.

Perhaps I need to start with the most basic question of all. Should I make any resolutions? Hmm. That leads to the startlingly obvious issue….why do I make them?

I would be lying if I didn’t admit to you that I do feel a New Year is monumental. Materially you could argue it’s false. The most physically significant change to our lives is adjusting our date memory to end in a 3 versus a 2! The rest? A new scorecard for your business? A new semester for your schooling? A new season of holiday weekends to plan?

But the feeling does persist. Yet I am not sure I can articulate it.

Perhaps it’s because there is no more liberating feeling than starting over. A clean slate. A fresh beginning. A whole new ballgame.

If last year was a tough one, you can see a world of potential in this one.

If last year was a great one, you can envision keeping your friend momentum chugging along!

If last year had ups and downs, surely 2013 will be all peaks.

Most of us like keeping score. Keeping score until infinity isn’t any fun. So a calendar year provides a nice tidy beginning and end to your personal game of life. The year is the entire game. The months and weeks become periods. The days become shifts.

So back to the resolutions? I am going to put to use this Wayne Gretzky quotation, “You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

So don’t be afraid of making resolutions you don’t achieve. Make a few. Chase them with enthusiasm.

My #1 Resolution for 2013? I already told you!

Be resolute.

MH3 Business Lessons, Opinion

Ten Reasons I Hate “Top 10” Lists!

I hate my magazines and newspapers this time of year.

Just when I have time to actually read them all, and not get weeks behind, they turn into mirror thin replicas of their normal selves. Not just in thickness, but also in depth. For the end of every calendar year brings the onslaught of the annual “Best of” Lists!

Top this. Worst that. Best this. Headliner that. Plays of the year. News story of the year. Players of the year.

Can it be that our short term memory is really that….um, what was I going to ask? Assuming you are able to read, the odds are ridiculously high you were alive on January 1st. Therefore you probably were aware of what happened in the last 365 days. So really folks, we do need the media to remind us of what just occurred?

Inspired by irritation, I am going to fuel this hypocrisy conspiracy and provide you with my own Top 10 list. My list is focused on what I detest about lists. Which in a circular way becomes such an immature topic, you probably shouldn’t flatter me by reading it. But because my privacy invasion software allows me to perform unnerving functions, I will let you know now that I can see through your screen and indeed you are STILL reading this. So now you have to finish this blog and read my list. The pissing me off list…

Continue reading “Ten Reasons I Hate “Top 10” Lists!” →

MH3 Living Life, Opinion, Work

Merry Christmas!

Burnt out from all the Holiday socials you have slogged through?

Running on fumes from all the last minute requests from your boss?

Panicked about the number of presents you still need to buy?

Hang in there. The holidays start in a few hours.

They can’t come soon enough. Seriously. I don’t get this December thing. It is insane. It seems that every year it gets busier and busier. The meetings. The parties. The planning. The final push to hit numbers. The job seekers. The networkers. The out of the blue emails from associates long forgotten. Sick kids. Extra hockey practices. Plus a staff cookie exchange.

Just this morning I’ve got someone else trying to book a meeting for tomorrow. Please go away. It’s Christmas time.

Seriously. I mean it. I’m spent. Tired. Exhausted. I don’t have one more meeting left in me. I can’t even think about when I’m going to buy my niece’s present. Let alone stocking stuffers for ten people. Why does my family still do stockings anyway? (Are you now trying to figure out what Christmas stockings are?It’s not that I’m cranky. It’s the opposite in fact. I love Christmas. My parents always did a great job of making the season feel really special when I was a kid. Snacks for Santa. Sitting in the usually off limits living room reading fables. (Yes I’m old enough to have grown up in a house with “off-limits” rooms.) My Dad pretending that reindeer were landing on our roof.

I just want some time this year to enjoy it. Can’t we slow Christmas down? Create a nice holiday pace? Give it that Hallmark card feel. Heck some snow would help.

That sounds nice doesn’t it? Hopefully you’re going to do the same. Relax. Chill. Take time away from the grind.

Okay? Sound good? You good with this plan?

Great! So stop bloody emailing me!!!!! (-:

Merry Christmas.

MH3 Events, Opinion, Sports

Feeling Grey

Toronto is feeling pretty Grey today. In a good way!

With our soccer team quietly faded out of sight and our hockey team faded out of mind, and our basketball team fading early as usual, you wouldn’t expect this to be the case.

But the only teams not monopolized by the Toronto sports monopoly formerly known as MLSE are making big news. News is great when it is news. And news we’ve got.

It wasn’t news that Toronto was hosting the Grey Cup this week. It has been big news though how enthusiastic the city has been about it. Good planning aside, this is partially due to the unexpected news of the Argonauts actually playing in the game. Which is as rare a sight as a Leaf shot on goal.

More big news of course is our Blue Jays plucking the Marlins to the bone. Re-signing their formerly fired manager. Plus picking up a one-time MLB villain, who has talent to burn.

Continue reading “Feeling Grey” →

MH3 Events, Life Lessons, Opinion

Lincoln Alexander: My Brother

Humiliated, I slowly climbed the steps of the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum). It was the late 1980s and this was my first invitation to a big fundraising dinner.

Waiting on the steps was my client, who flashed a mischievous grin as I exited the taxi.

Instantly that grin was abated by the swat of his wife’s purse. It took her only a nanosecond to decipher that I had been the victim of his latest prank. I’m unsure of its official title, but it somehow rhymes with tell the twenty-four year old agency guy it’s cool to wear his emerald green suit and burgundy wing tips, to an event you consciously know is black tie.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Thankfully our table was well in the back and out of the sight of the head table guests and the keynote speaker. Not only was I the only person wearing a suit that looked like it walked off the set of the prime time TV show, Miami Vice, I was also the only person in the room who was close to the same colour as “Tubbs”.
That is outside of the keynote speaker, Lieutenant Governor Lincoln Alexander. I was thrilled. Alexander was Canada’s first ever black federal MP and first ever black Lieutenant Governor. He was an inspiration to a young black kid trying to navigate his way through life and I was pumped to hear him speak.

But now my sartorial embarrassment turned to anger. I seethed that I looked like a clown. Here I was listening to one of our country’s greatest Black Canadian pioneers and I looked like I came from a Malcolm X look-alike contest. Continue reading “Lincoln Alexander: My Brother” →

MH3 Business, Business Lessons, Coaching, Football, Opinion, Sports, Work

Cover Boy

I was a bit of a lunatic at last Saturday’s Varsity Blues (University of Toronto) football game.

Lost my cool. Was a hothead. Violated the code. Insulted the fraternity of football coaches. Compared U of T’s coach to Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. Neither would be flattered. I am sure my outburst will cost me a piece of business some day. Maybe with Canada’s largest campus or with our largest city.

You see, I was supporting my boy. I use that expression to describe a former player of mine. Not in reference to one of my offspring. But if you have coached long enough, you know your players become like a second family to you.

My boy in this case is #9 Simon Nassar, the U of T backup QB. And to paraphrase his coach, “the most popular guy on the team.” Yes, Simon is/was the reason for my lunacy. Continue reading “Cover Boy” →

MH3 Living Life, Opinion

Petaphor

Do you talk to your pets?

Do they talk back?

Do you ever listen to yourself talking to your pets? Perhaps you haven’t realized that you are not using your inside voice when you talk to your pets? Don’t believe me? Then shimmy up next to someone with their pet. Stand quietly and listen as they carry on a full-scale, wide-ranging dialogue with their Devon Rex.

That’s you.

You talk to your pet in some sugary sweet language that was created for communicating with babies and elderly people several centuries ago. Over time, its use and public acceptance has moved from engaging with the infant human and the infirmed, to the furried and the fanged of all ages.

Pet language does not include condescension. It doesn’t include teasing. It doesn’t include constructive criticism. Nowhere to be found is 360 feedback. Let alone unsolicited advice.

Continue reading “Petaphor” →