Network Before You Need To

It seems I’m in the free advice business these days.

Friends starting their own companies. People faced with the opportunity of a new job. People seeking volunteers to help raise funds. Old colleagues looking for a new job. Strangers currently out of a job. Sales people looking for introductions. Clients thinking about a new job.

They all come asking for advice. Free advice.

For years I think I have given more than my fair share. Much more. Why? Because I’m a big believer in what goes around comes around. There are many a days when I need an introduction, a favour, some industry intel, or a referral. Many, many days. I don’t feel guilty about asking, because I feel like I’m good at doing my part. So I give free advice, because I get free advice.

It’s amazing the power of the old adage of it’s not what you know, it’s who you know that drives business success. I tend to edit that saying by suggesting it’s both. Having the contacts affords you the opportunity to demonstrate what you know. But without the contacts, the knowledge size is useless.

So get off your butts, and get out to network.

Oh, I’m serious. Very serious. The number-one mistake I see is people don’t network until it’s too late. They wait until they lost the sale or their job, or their investors fell through, before they network aggressively. Many times an unemployed person tells me they were too busy to network when they had a job. Many times a small business owner will claim they were fully occupied servicing their major client or retailer to look for new business. Many times an entrepreneur will believe they were being unfaithful to look for other investors while their father-in-law claimed to be standing by with a cheque in hand. Believe it all, until reality hits. Sales dry up. You’re laid off. The major sponsor prospect backs out last minute. Your father-in-law didn’t realize you weren’t able to guarantee his loan. Now you need help. Now you start networking. Now it’s too late.

Why? Well, beyond the obvious of your back being up against the wall, networking is a background activity, not a centre stage one. It’s like consensus building or grassroots politics. It takes time, patience, and persistence. But it doesn’t work when it’s rushed or forced. Because the art of networking is to secure a meeting where it’s clearly declared there is no tolerance for selling, pitching, interviewing. In reality, it’s just that. Both sides know it on some level. But the closer the agenda is to being transactional versus relational, the less likely you are to secure a networking meeting.

So I have some tips. Both as a giver and a taker of networking benefits.

1. Don’t Be a Stranger: Even if I wasn’t making a numbered advice list, this would be my number-one rule of all time. I’m happy to network with people, and, like most, I prioritize the people I know. But you know who I prioritize last? The Stranger! That’s a person who I have known for years, who goes AWOL for a variety of reasons, usually because they deem me to be of no value to them in their current stage. Miraculously they contact me when their circumstances have changed, turned for the worse, and now not only am I their new BFF, but I am somehow supposed to drop everything to meet with them and provide advice/direction/contacts. Rant is over. Don’t be a stranger. Invest a little. It goes a long way.

2. Don’t Be a Whiner: If you read my first tip, you can now call me a massive hypocrite. But let’s face it, how many times have you networked with someone who spent most of the meeting whining about their past business partners, employer, or clients. Nothing is worse. Instantly you have lost all desire to help this person. Frantically you want to escape this chat. That’s why when I predict this is going to happen to me, I use blind date principles in organizing the meet. Bright, open, public space. Coffee, not lunch. Never a drink. Late afternoon where the list of time-related excuses are air-tight and valid. I don’t care about your problems, which usually are more your fault than the accusers you mention anyway. I am providing you my time, so make it enjoyable.

3. Don’t Be a Bragger: Maybe it’s a defence mechanism, but we are meeting because you want something from me. When I’m networking it may be because I want to understand industry trends, or find out about a hot speaker, or learn what agency got hired for what, or keep our relationship warm for the future. Yes, I admit, there is a reason I asked you out for lunch. Is that so bad? It would be if all I did was brag to you about me, my life, my work, and my new car (though it’s pretty awesome!). Network with humility. Find out what’s going on in my life. We will eventually get around to talking about you. And when we do, keep it real. More importantly, when I ask you what you’re great at, or what your company is great at, or what is amazing about this investment, don’t say everything. No one is great at everything. Be honest and candid so we can focus the chat.

4. Don’t Be a Stranger: Had to stick this in again. Besides, I like odd-numbered lists, so I needed a filler.

5. Don’t Forget to Say Thanks: It’s amazing, but true. More than half the times I network with someone, I never hear a word after. No thanks. No update. Not even a note telling me to shut up about my car. Nothing. The best networkers follow up with a thank you, a plan, and an easy request. I gave you my time to help you. I’m willing to give you more. Make me feel good about it and make it easy for me to help, and I am all yours.

Networking helps the world go round. It’s timeless. It’s invaluable. It will never be replaced by social media or augmented reality. Never. Until bots become better at common courtesy than we are.